WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
