We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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