I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Houston, we have a squirter
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
