the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
