I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
