You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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