I want to walk on stilts...naked
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
