clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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