a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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