his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
