I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
