What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
