Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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