Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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