found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
