Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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