i think my tv is drunk
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
