Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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