She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
