Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
