it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
