I'm lost and stupid without you.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
