My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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