remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
