Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
