Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
