My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
