out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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