I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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