Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
