There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
