remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Everclear isn't food dammit
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
