we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
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