yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
