He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
