Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Jerry, you need to find god
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
