Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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