I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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