Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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