Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
