Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I think I am morally bankrupt
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
