the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
