I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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