I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
