D3 body, D1 cock
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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