bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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