Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
