Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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