wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
