I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
