hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
