dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
