So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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