The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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