But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
