Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
